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Insecurity and needs

How do you manage your own needs with others, boundaries and the feeling that you’re not ‘enough’ for someone? These articles are for people struggling to balance and communicate their needs.

Are your needs ‘reasonable’?

My sense is that all triangulation is somewhat dysfunctional, but I’m not sure. For example, if I ask my partner out on a certain night, he can say “Let me check my calendar and get back to you”, or he can say “I want to but my other partner

Can I be replaced?

I have been in a poly relationship for six months now and just recently, my boyfriend started having two other serious relationships. Before that, he just had flings. And I feel so threatened by these other women. I know my bf loves me and he cares a lot about me

When polyamory makes you feel inadequate

My wife just dropped this on me. We have experimented with swinging, and we have gone to a swing club a few times, and I was ok with it. But she had also been talking to various individuals online, and had been wanted to be dominated (BDSM stuff), which I

Can one person fulfil every need?

I’m in a partnership with my nonbinary trans partner for over a year almost two. They have been stating from the beginning that they would want to be in a open relationship but we never discussed anything further. Recently it’s been pressed and they want to start ironing

The devil’s in the details

About three years ago, I approached my husband with the idea of being non-monogamous. I had several situations pop up where sexual encounters could have happened, but did not due to my loyalty to my marriage. One of them, I kissed someone and then immediately left the situation in horror.

Non-monogamy and being replaced

I am 34 and my husband is 39. We’ve been together almost 17 years and have 2 kids. I know now that I am heteroromantic bisexual. I like to be proactive and keep finding ways to keep us engaged and not get bored in our marriage. After looking for

Is this jealousy or something else?

My husband and i have been married for 7 years. I’m 43 he’s 40. We’re young 40’s fit and fun and do well financially. We have 4 kids and are in business together. Not that much matters. But I wanted to give an idea as to

Rules and non-monogamy

CN: This question and column has explicit discussion of sexual acts. My husband and I have started doing soft swaps recently. We’re about two years into the LS.. Once he tried kissing another woman. It upset me at the time. (I believe it is the meaning I attribute to

Bare minimum in relationships

I have been in a relationship for 4 years, and it has been an amazing relationship. Throughout, we have been open and not defined our relationship. Which I was ok with because of my feelings for him, and sensitive to the fact that something was sensitive and hard for him

Ultimatums and polyamory

I’m a woman in my late 40’s, married for 4 years to a woman in her early 50’s. About a year ago, we decided to open our marriage and date other people. We were both on board. We shared a couple of threesomes, and all was well.